The Jar of Expectant Hope

There are those weeks and then there was last week. 

Different people call weeks like last week by different terms.  For some they are "Game Changers," "Hell Weeks," or even "Decision Makers."  They hold more weight then the average week's limit.  They drain the body, mind, and soul and leave one wondering why? really? how come? and shaking one's head in utter disillusionment.    

In the midst of these types of weeks, one tries their hardest to do the simple tasks. Brushing the teeth becomes a task. Combing the hair is replaced with a hat. Beards are left to grow wild. Yet somehow, one has to find the ability to put on the pants, button up the shirt, tie the shoes, and head into the office - even if it doesn't all make sense.

After taking a personal day to process all that was running through my mind, I headed in on Tuesday.  Somehow I thought Tuesday would not seem as bad as Monday - because Monday itself is...well...it's Monday.

I walked into my office, placed my bag on my sofa, and hung my coat on the back of my chair, then sat down and turned on my computer.  As I pulled myself up to my desk to read my mail, I found a Ball canning jar with a folded tag on the top reading "To Pastor Bob". I glanced at it and quickly assumed it to be filled with ground coffee. As a lover of coffee - it seemed a nice gesture.

See, the previous week, a good friend gave me some freshly brewed coffee beans in a small Ball jar, which had made one of the best pots of coffee I had ever brewed. I was pleased to have more and didn't have a second thought.  That was until I finished off the morning coffee in my travel mug that day and thought, "Well, it is already ground and I have a coffee pot - let's make this office smell great!"  I began to unscrew the lid on the jar and noticed that what was falling out seemed to have an unusual consistency.  It almost seemed like...sand?

I took a whiff and exclaimed, "Ugh! That's doesn't smell like coffee" - no, it smelled more like wet dog.

What was in this jar?   

I returned the lid and placed it a far distance from me on my desk, and went back to work. Several minutes had past, and someone came into see me. While we were talking the person noticed the jar and asked what was in it. I said, "I am not sure. I thought it was coffee." He asked to look at it and mentioned that he had sampled soils while in FFA (Future Farmers of America). He looked, smelled, and then made his diagnosis saying, "It's wet sand."

Wet sand?  What in the world would someone give me a jar of wet sand for?  We looked at each other...and I exclaimed, "Ugh...You don't think someone was so upset at me that they filled a jar with the contents from their cat's litter box?"  I quickly stopped digging my fingers into the top of the jar - thinking for sure I was going to find a little "surprise."  I put the lid back on and finished the conversation a bit disgusted.

After the person left my office, I was so intrigued at what possibly could be in the jar that I began to inspect it from the outside very carefully. I had heard a popular pastor teach about the "chocolate covered turd" of ministry and sensed that it may have literally been delivered.  Then from the bottom of the jar, I could see what looked like a white piece of paper.  "What kind of cruel trick is this?"  "No one got this one off of Pinterest."  But I was determined to see what was inside.  I began to dig...very, very carefully.

Soon I had worked out from the bowels of the jar a one-foot piece of paper - like a message in a bottle.  There was no "surprise" - thanks be to God.  Just a beautiful note which included the following bible passage from Psalms 139:17-18,

 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

It stopped me in my tracks as I read.  This was a beautiful gesture, a wonderful reminder of God's faithfulness in this difficult week. I was humbled and slightly embarrassed. In my simple, frustrated mind all I could see and all I expected was the worst that my neighbor could give. Yet in this gift was a true "surprise" - not the "surprise" I had expected but a genuine gesture of love, care and concern. 

I always teach that awareness is one of the fundamental key's to the spiritual life, yet maybe having a bit more expectant hope might be just as important. Today, that jar sits on my shelf as a reminder to be expectant and hopeful...it is also a reminder that sometimes what we think is rather crappy...might just be a beautiful gift in disguise.

Thank you, Kim, for the gift and the teaching.